In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I think I just sharted jello shots
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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