Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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