Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
