I need help removing her.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
