He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
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Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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