Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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