I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
third nipple confirmed
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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