"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
