Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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