The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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