just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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