so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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