Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His nipple licking is glorious
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