She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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