i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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