Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
