Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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