no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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