Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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