So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
