I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
