I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
