i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
only if we run a train.
done.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
