I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
