you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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