I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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