break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
