ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
