i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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