Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
