That's intense
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The struggles of a small town man whore
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
