i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
