well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
