I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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