So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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