my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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