Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
