Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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