dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
