So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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