Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize