hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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