I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
