he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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