I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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