whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
