the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
