don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
