upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
