I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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