You can't motorboat a personality
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
