so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
