Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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