This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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