I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
