would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
