You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
