OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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