I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize