If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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