Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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