He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
