So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
