Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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