why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I cut my penus on the lid.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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