I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
