I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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