Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
