I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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