She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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